26 on the 26th!! Only a couple days left until my birthday!! Every birthday my grandma would ask; "Do you feel older?" These past few years the answer has been YES! Maybe it's the lingering spirit of the New Year. Maybe my subconscious anticipation of turning a year older. Either way, I feel like a more mature version of myself by the time my big day rolls around. This year is no exeception! One can't help but reflect back on life during their birthday season. Especially, comparing the previous year vs. NOW. I remember last year at this time. I felt stuck. Stuck at my cockroach infested, ghetto box, studio apartment. Shelly and I made the best of things. Looking back I realize how much our living situation truly impacted our lives and the descions we made. NOW we live somewhere we thought we'd never afford. A beautiful apartment with many amentities. A peaceful enviornment. A place where we've become true locals... to the point of me working locally! Last year at this time, I would've never believed this would be my reality! I finally left my old job that was leading me nowhere. I began working in a succesful French cafe as a barista. I learned and gain so much from that experience. NOW, I walk to work in a healthy deli/market. I continue to job hunt for a higher paying gig. Meanwhile, this job ain't too shabby! There's been so much I've let go of. Challenging my mindsets. Exploring spirituality. Facing rough emotions that would be easiest to ignore or bury deep within.

If I had to give one word to my life at 25, I think I'd go with "challenging". I feel like I've lived many years in the last year. It was a time of transition. Facing change is challenging. With it comes uncomfortable emotions and uncertainty. A challenge is meant to push your limits. See how far you can truly go or how much you're willing to push on. I had a lot of anxiety last year. Life's growing pains that you can fall victim to or rise above to conquer. I really found my strength. I continue to build it. It hasnt even been 1 month of 2015 and already I've evolved from Danielle of 2014. This year for me is all about the word "FOCUS". I'm still young but inching my way to 30. It's not play time... It's time to buckle down. Start making dedicated commitments. Staying on top of things more and maintaining once I achieve goals. Taking the steps leading to roads I want to be on.

Birthday girl photoshoot! I want to make it a tradition to do a celebratory birthday photohshoot each year. This year Shelly was my photographer again! We had WAY TOO MUCH fun playing with the green screen. I love our at home Martinez Girlz Productions! Crazy things happen. Sometimes, a vortex forms in your living room. Othertimes, The Mertz's are lap dogs to Dean Martin or flying like a super dog. Check out of the fun! The full set is up on Facebook (click here)

I am reminded of why I previously chose to be single. I've always been "the girlfriend" type. Loyal puppy dog love. Total devotion. I'm just a serious girl about everything I do. I don't enjoy dating or sleeping around. I want to be with someone who I can see a future with... otherwise, there's no chance! No matter how cute or seemingly perfect someone seems, I need to see a serious frame of mind that is ready for commitment. I've never wanted to get married immediately. I wanted to date someone I could seriously marry, eventually. In admitting this, this is the reason why I CHOSE to be single for so long. Prior to my last boyfriend, I was single for many years. Was abstinent from sex for a couple years when I finally "sealed the deal" with my ex... on our 1st official date. It was unlike me. There was a spark. We'd been texting for awhile leading up to it. We were already crazy about each other on our 1st date. So, why was it so scary to make our relationship official "couple status"? Why so much tip toeing and fear? Connections can be effortless but relationships ARE NOT. It takes work, understanding, and maturity (among a ton of other things!) Also, since my last break up, I rediscovered BREAK UPS SUCK! Heartbreak on any degree are uncomfortable and hurt. You take a risk when you agree to make the couple commitment. Likewise, it takes a lot of courage to end a relationship... when you know that's the most beneficial thing to do in the long run. To finally stop denying to yourself and others of how you really feel. I've been that girl so many times, even outside of romantic relationships. Playing that happy role for others so they think everything is ok and you can also play pretend it's ok. It can be easier to drag unhappiness on, Or Try to sabotage a relationship in a subconscious attempt to lead to it's demise WITHOUT having to concretely make the choice. A "coward's way out". I understand making commitments of any sort can be scary. We need to be honest with ourselves and other's we are making commitments to. Is this what we really want? Are we truly in a place to devote serious energy towards this relationship/situation? In all fields of commitment in life, it's similar to gambling. You may know there's a chance going into something. You place your bet or you don't based on that gut feeling. Either way you're taking a risk of "loosing" or getting hurt. It's a part of basic living instinct, you want to protect yourself! Survival instincts. How can you NOT expect issues when you bring two totally separate humans trying to share a life together? Everyone has a different mind with various experiences that others may not be able to relate to... but you still try to understand. Add mommy, daddy, + family problems to the mix, and you're eating the bittersweet salad of life sprinkled with tasty trauma of past relationships, dressed with basic balsamic human nature.

Experiencing an overly intoxicated night can remind you of the mess you have going on inside. I've recently had one of THOSE nights. My day leading up to it was extremely stressful. I was working a full shift after 4 hours of sleep. Then when it ended I had to deal with more job stress. I thought I was going to loose my new job. Both my new and old job double scheduled me. I had to no show one. I tried to get my shift covered from both jobs. Nothing worked and I had to have a serious phone call with my new boss. I felt I never left that anxiety before entering my evening out. I still was carrying this heavy load of stress. I forgot that it's not wise to drink when you're already in a bad state of mind. Basically, I pushed my limits and had a "bad trip". I didn't do anything crazy or wild or get sick. I was just agitated, told a few people off, got too competitive while playing a game, and couldn't keep my balance by the end of the night. I know many people saw me in this state. I'm sure they judged and gossiped about my behavior. I can't entirely blame them for doing so, I brought it upon myself. I'm an old soul who believes in acting like a lady. I was acting like a sad girl. Which I kinda am right now. That night revealed all the stuff I try to push through. Between working 2 jobs, taking scary public transportation, dealing with a breakup, and trying to deal with my grandma's death... I forgot just how much I had going on. I've thrown myself into work to distract me from my depression. I need to slow down for a min and gain peace with everything. We all have our problems. I'm just trying to deal with mine in a healthy way. I need to make some changes. I took a social media cleanse/break for a week a little while back. I think it's time for an alcohol break for a week. I want to use other outlets to release. I haven't been performing or creating much lately. I know that always depresses me when I deprive my artistic side. I become a repressed grump when I'm not artistically expressing myself. I want to feel at peace. Even if situations aren't exactly serene, I must find peace in midst of it all. I will report back when the week is up. Share what I've learned and experienced as a result. Happy Monday! Have a peaceful week!

I can come across like a bitter, wrestling hating, negative Nancy. I want to set the record straight. I find a lot of art and inspiration through wrestling. I'm fully aware that I'm not a wrestler. Therefore, I have a different relationship with "the business". I've been watching and around that world for many years. Shelly was taking me to shows while she was training. It's always been Shelly's dream to be a wrestler. I was alongside her journey. I've even joined it at times. I've learned so much. Met amazing and talented performers, incredible promoters/writers/production/misc wrestling lovers.  I've really found a lot of joy through wrestling. At the same time, I've always been baffled by the social aspects of the business. Every job has it's own, little, world. Wrestling is something that puzzles me at times. But it's all people stuff. Social behaviors. That's just life. Then, there's social pressures that make me feel very disenchanted. Seeing performer's art get distracted with social politics really irks me. People screwing each other over, being shady, basic high school drama. Watching them work with shady promoters who make everyone feel like they have to play the game to get booked. Whether it's a sexual precondition or ego rubbing quid pro quo... this is just unnecessary. In Hollywood there is sleazy producers with a little cash. Some with legit opportunities. They do bad business, get a girl to sleep with them, or play fake nice to boost their ego. It just blows my mind when people are knowingly accepting the shadiness and putting over these characters. Feeding into their "I'm so great but everyone knows I'm a douche and nothing is ever going to change." Does anyone stand up to these people? I'm intrigued and the journalist in me wants answers. In order to get answers you have to ask questions. Human behavior interests me. I'm just closely involved in wrestling. That's my point of comparison right now.

I podcast. I enjoy listening to podcasts. I find inspiration in many personalities. Therefore, it's a part of my job to be opinionated. Plus, that's naturally who I am.  I could never do radio or podcasting if I didn't have strong opinions. Sometimes, it's controversial. I believe art should make you feel and think. Radio/podcasting is an art. I try to not be harmful or degrading. If I do come across that way I always encourage feedback. Call me out if I need it.

I can go on forever but I just wanted to give a better understanding of where I'm coming from. Especially if you don't know me or misunderstand my perspective... I felt this was important to get out.

Happy Halloweeeeeeeeeeen!!!!!!
*Feel free to leave comments below!

Lucille Ball playing- Lucy Ricardo playing- Audrey Hepburn... we definitely peeled the onion and went deep during my test shoot! We mixed multidimensional with simplicity. I had my costume from last year's Halloween hanging sadly and collecting dust in my closet. I only wore it once for the Santino's Halloween show. I accidentally backed into barbed wire and bled all over my cute, little,
"Loosey" costume. The blood didn't wash out but I knew it still had at least one more wear in it! After some discussion, Shelly and I decided to have a photoshoot in our apartment with me in my Lucy Ricardo costume. When the day came, I got my caffeine fix, put on The Squirrel Nut Zippers station on Pandora and vibed with Shelly. I really enjoy when Shelly is my photographer. She understands what I'm trying to portray and when I unintentionally display distracting emotions that are unflattering. I told her that for this shoot I wanted to be Lucille Ball playing- Lucy Ricardo. I want to show a layer of Lucille that is often left unexplored. A strong woman. A completely unique talent. Yet a very real person. With insecurities. Struggles. Lucille was a powerhouse icon and business woman who acted as a housewife. Two very different roles. I wonder how she felt or looked at her character as Lucy Ricardo. She would play this loving housewife when in reality Desi was a disloyal mess. They had a terribly unhealthy marriage in real life. How was it to share scenes with Desi after an argument? Was it blissful to pretend those realities didn't exist? Was she in a TV relationship she truly wished was real? How did she view the housewife role? Or would it empower her? Would she walk away from set thinking "I'm glad that's not my real life"? I've been reading books, articles, and watching documentaries about Lucille Ball. She is intriguing and real. Those qualities are probably the core of why audiences now still literally love Lucy... All the talent on top sure didn't hurt either! ;)

Click here to see the full set!

Click here to see full set!

We HAD to have a photoshoot to truly break in our new apartment! I've been finding myself in a work-sleep-go out sometimes-  do it all over again, funk. Been really craving and missing expressing myself in more artistic ways. I literally go crazy when I'm stuck in the funk. I feel so serious, edgy, irritable. Simply, artistically repressed! Things are finally settling down and becoming normal. This too good to be true apartment has become my cozy, little, home now. We are still transitioning. There's tons of changes in our futures. But through all of everything that is to come, this apartment is where WE WILL STAY. Our "constant" during life's ever changing variables.

I always enjoy working with Shelly. We work extremely well together. I really believe in Shelly as a photographer. Her years of modeling experience shows through her photography. That's why I had total confidence collaborating with her! We shared similar ideas on the vibe and story of the shoot. It's all about a girl who FINALLY moved out of the cockroach infested, scary, dumpy, apartment. Who is now settling into her new, safe, peaceful, apartment. There's still uncertainties, challenges, hardships, but things are different now... for the better. There's 3 sets in this shoot. This first one is in our patio/ front yard area. We've always wanted a balcony or patio. Especially, for our old man Fred Mertz! It was a dream come to true to finally have one in our new apartment! I eventually want to grow my own zen garden. I picture lots of cactus flowers! I experienced a moment with the patio when we first moved in. I was alone looking out onto the patio. The sun was shinning in beautifully and I was overwhelmed with emotion. Feelings of excitement, disbelief, surreal, uncertainty, relief... it all flooded me! I couldn't help but cry tears of happiness while I thought "we finally did it" while looking out onto that patio. Although, I wish my garden was up and blooming, I think it's raw to take these pictures in the bare patio. It signifies this time of  "we have 'it' but 'it' is a little empty." Not empty in a sad way. But in a way that we have all this space and room to fill now. A space to decorate and express who we are. So much room for opportunity! Just like in our life. Our last chapter was our move out. Now, we've finished that book. It can go on the bookshelf while we sit down and write this brand new book. This new, INSPIRING, beginning! We will blossom into our place. It's delicate, beautiful, and real. That is basically the emotions I wanted to convey during this shoot and I think Shelly captured it perfectly!

 

I've found myself very drawn to the artist, Grimes, lately. I'm a fairly new fan. After watching live performances on YouTube and reading her bio... I couldn't help but have this week's Café Danielle feature Grimes! This episode of Martinez Girlz Radio will be up on VOC Nation Friday. I wish I could've interviewed Grimes but until that day, we'll be discussing her, her music, and the inspiration she stirs up in my life. Above is a PHENOMONIAL, RAW, performance of "Be a Body" by Grimes.

Taylen Delgado's music video "Drive" has made it's debut on YouTube! I've been blogging, tweeting, and instagramming in anticipation! Watch Taylen shine and sing her heart out in the streets of Downtown LA, Hollywood, Venice Beach, and the underground LA Metro. I felt privileged to work with Taylen and her professional crew. It was an amazing experience! The camera definitely captured that magic! It was fantastic going back to being 17 years old with Taylen and Allison Sharpe!

It's finally here! Cafe Danielle proudly presents exclusive interview with Australian pop artist, Taylen Delgado! Shelly and I sat down with Taylen on this week's Martinez Girlz Radio, link available on shellymartinez.org and iTunes.

I met Taylen through working on her music video. I had so much fun that I had to blog about it! (See post from June 29) After the shoot, we planned to meet up before she went back to Australia. The weeks flew by and just like that Taylen was heading home. I thought she'd make a fantastic Cafe Danielle guest. I asked her and she was totally cool to do an interview! So, Taylen and her mom invited both Martinez Girlz over for snacks and podcasting. They instantly connected with Shelly! Taylen's mumsie was a wonderful host and we really treasured the conversations prior to recording with her. Taylen's openness and bubbly personality made it very natural to get lost in conversation. We were impressed by the extremely smart, funny, beautiful spirited, young, lady we got to chat with.

I went to a Christian University where we studied and discussed how man-made The Bible truly is. With different versions due to writers and publishers theological bias. Regardless of your opinion, can we agree it's a wise collection of meaningful stories, lessons, poems, songs... just quality literature?

I received a small music scholarship and was in the women's choir. We sang a gorgeous arrangement with verses from Chapter 13 of Corinthians from The Bible. I found myself gravitating towards that verse today. So beautiful and true. Such deep meaning embedded in the literature! I decided to share the whole chapter.

Corinthians 13 

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

 

A few days ago I met with a pretty, purple-haired, girl and her mother at a coffee shop in LA. It was in response to a casting for a music video I submitted for. We instantly clicked and I was hired on! Little did I know the fun that lay ahead!

Taylen Delgado, is an emerging INTERNATIONAL pop star! A talented and sweet, young, Aussie! We were joined by our new blonde buddy, actress, Allison Sharpe. We became the Three Amigos, Three Musketeers... what have you, point is we were a BFF trio!! Running around the streets of Hollywood and the sands of Venice Beach. Getting into trouble. Non-stop dancing! Being carefree, silly, and young!

 

 

 

 I was hesitant to take the gig because I was feeling depressed over my grandma's death. But I knew I had to keep focusing on moving my life forward. Not locked away from the world. I'm so happy I was involved in Taylen's music video shoot. It was a pleasure working with Taylen! It was wonderful making new connections! Meeting fantastic people! I will post the link of the video when it's released. For latest updates and everything Taylen go to: officialtaylen.com She's super cool, so check out her music and fabulous photos on her site. Support artists! :)

 

"This place is just a shell, external/ You're a warrior, Fighting for your soul/ Re-unite them return the princess to her king/ and then she'll be filled with joy/ like the days of her youth." -Matisyahu; "Warrior"

Reggae and Jazz is all I've been able to listen to while mourning my grandma's death. Her funeral was Monday. We tossed roses down onto her casket before they covered her grave up with dirt. Doves were released as we said our final goodbye. I've been living through very real moments... some force me to confront life in a raw, inescapable, way. It's been emotionally and spiritually heavy. While at the same time, completely surreal. I felt honored to help my family make her funeral arrangements. Glad we could pay such beautiful respects. Also, very therapeutic. Although, it was odd going shopping with my sister, mom, and cousin for an outfit to bury my grandma in. We found something perfect. I ironed it in the morning before dropping it off at the mortuary. A place that has a haunting stench of formaldehyde.

In sharing all this I hope to paint a very real picture. This experience continues to alter my perspective. As I continue mourning, I can't stomach just any type of music. I tried listening to music on the radio but kept getting annoyed with themes of materialism and irresponsibility. Sure I'm just in a sensitive place right now. Reggae has helped me through this extremely difficult time. Songs about spirituality, love, finding deeper meanings... this is exactly what's on my mind and needs feeding.

Matisyahu speaks my language in so many of his songs. It's comforting to relate with. Recently, I've been finding myself playing Matisyahu's "Warrior" on repeat. I remembered having a panic attack before my grandma's open casket/wake. I was on a walk crying, feeling overwhelmed. I listened to "Warrior" and felt a sense of peace. I knew that I had to stay strong and "return the princess to her king" the way she deserves.

Below, is "Warrior" LIVE! This version is so pretty and melodic. I couldn't find any other live performance that captured exactly what this one did. P.S. Don't know why it has Spanish subtitles but here's an opportunity to brush up on your español!

Peter and the shot of tequila. 

CLICK HERE to watch

I usually stick to wine or champagne.. But Peter put me in the mood for a shot! Definitely a rare occasion!

Had a full day extravaganza celebrating Peter's 24th Birthday, Friday! I'd been going through a lot, personally. Peter had been working all week... we both decided to keep the day simple and relaxing. So, we stayed in Hollywood. We enjoyed champagne bruch at home. I love cooking for others, especially for my special, young, Bday man! In late afternoon we strolled over to Cabo Cantina to redeem Peter's Bday promotion. It's actually a pretty cool offer. Sign up online for free meal and bottle of champane on your Bday!

Afterwards, we let the good time feelings simmer. We took the dogs for a long walk. Was so peaceful spending the breezy early evening in nature. We took it easy for a fews hours then got ready to go out for round 2. Below, is a video and pics from our pizza party at The Rainbow Bar & Grill.

CLICK HERE to watch

CLICK HERE for more pictures from Danielle's arm wrestling match vs. Jezabel Romo at Santino Bros Wrestling Academy. If you can't catch the weekly showcase live on Ustream, watch matches on Santino Bros YouTube

 

 

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."         

        

                        

 

"I'm an introvert... I love being by myself, love being outdoors, love taking a long walk with my dogs and looking at the trees, flowers, the sky."  

               

 

"I was asked to act when I couldn't act. I was asked to sing 'Funny Face' when I couldn't sing, and dance with Fred Astaire when I couldn't dance - and do all kinds of things I wasn't prepared for. Then I tried like mad to cope with it."    

                         

 "Paris is always a good idea."     

  

 

  

-Audrey Hepburn.

 

 "You say goodbye and I say hello, hello, hello..."

          Turned my key in and officially called it quits at my first coffee shop job! I totally embraced the barista learning experience. My love and understanding of coffee has deepened. This job gave me the opportunity to develop an entire new skill! I'm incredibly grateful. It was kinda scary deciding to let go of something that had become such a big part of my life... but I started to get too comfortable. I was ready for new challenges. A complete re-shifting of my life. So, I updated and printed out tons of resumes. I was anticipating to be on the job hunt for at least a couple weeks. Surprisingly, within 2 days of serious searching, I found a cute cafe nearby who was interested in hiring me! We took a chance on each other and I began my trail period with them. Working 2 hourly jobs is DEFINITELY a situation I'd like to avoid in the future! Don't know how people can maintain sanity while trying to juggle a full, balanced, life. Turns me into an irritable, overwhelmed, deprived, state of being. Had a few days that ended in stressful tear shed. Including moments of feeling like I couldn't physically handle the strain. Then, you stop singing the "sorry for myself" tunes. Take a huge breath and look around. Take in reality. Rationally re- approach goals. Just gotta get through and realizes how good you really have it in the meantime... instead of being bitter. I've gained so much during this time of my life. That's why I had to take pictures on my last day of work. I left some sweet touches to remember me by.... like my signature bugged eyed, flower, doodle! When the labels peel away, my memories of this special place will stick forever!(Feeling so sentimental!) But "you say 'goodbye' and I say 'hello, hello, hello' " to a new chapter. I'm so excited to discover a new balance of working and performing. Find a routine that leaves room for exercise and a social life. I'm reclaiming my time! My flexible schedule will allow me to really focus on Martinez Girlz Productions. My GRACIOUS friend gave me her old computer so... TA DA new computer for me! Meaning, I can start editing again! Watch out world, here we come!!

 

I came across this footage from the fall and I thought why not post it!  Danielle and I LOVE Veggie Grill.  Extra positive vibes to Kevin Gill for introducing us to Veggie Grill.

Cafe Danielle Teaser

It's officially Spring meaning bikini season is right around the corner! Just in time for Cafe Danielle's fitness series! We're kicking it off with spin instructor, Ben Bruker. This afternoon we met at my favorite coffee shop, sat outside in the sun, and chatted fitness. I'm super excited to share this fun fitness episode... I just HAD TO upload a YouTube teaser until full episode is available on TheMartinezGirlz.com