I can come across like a bitter, wrestling hating, negative Nancy. I want to set the record straight. I find a lot of art and inspiration through wrestling. I'm fully aware that I'm not a wrestler. Therefore, I have a different relationship with "the business". I've been watching and around that world for many years. Shelly was taking me to shows while she was training. It's always been Shelly's dream to be a wrestler. I was alongside her journey. I've even joined it at times. I've learned so much. Met amazing and talented performers, incredible promoters/writers/production/misc wrestling lovers.  I've really found a lot of joy through wrestling. At the same time, I've always been baffled by the social aspects of the business. Every job has it's own, little, world. Wrestling is something that puzzles me at times. But it's all people stuff. Social behaviors. That's just life. Then, there's social pressures that make me feel very disenchanted. Seeing performer's art get distracted with social politics really irks me. People screwing each other over, being shady, basic high school drama. Watching them work with shady promoters who make everyone feel like they have to play the game to get booked. Whether it's a sexual precondition or ego rubbing quid pro quo... this is just unnecessary. In Hollywood there is sleazy producers with a little cash. Some with legit opportunities. They do bad business, get a girl to sleep with them, or play fake nice to boost their ego. It just blows my mind when people are knowingly accepting the shadiness and putting over these characters. Feeding into their "I'm so great but everyone knows I'm a douche and nothing is ever going to change." Does anyone stand up to these people? I'm intrigued and the journalist in me wants answers. In order to get answers you have to ask questions. Human behavior interests me. I'm just closely involved in wrestling. That's my point of comparison right now.

I podcast. I enjoy listening to podcasts. I find inspiration in many personalities. Therefore, it's a part of my job to be opinionated. Plus, that's naturally who I am.  I could never do radio or podcasting if I didn't have strong opinions. Sometimes, it's controversial. I believe art should make you feel and think. Radio/podcasting is an art. I try to not be harmful or degrading. If I do come across that way I always encourage feedback. Call me out if I need it.

I can go on forever but I just wanted to give a better understanding of where I'm coming from. Especially if you don't know me or misunderstand my perspective... I felt this was important to get out.

Happy Halloweeeeeeeeeeen!!!!!!
*Feel free to leave comments below!

Lucille Ball playing- Lucy Ricardo playing- Audrey Hepburn... we definitely peeled the onion and went deep during my test shoot! We mixed multidimensional with simplicity. I had my costume from last year's Halloween hanging sadly and collecting dust in my closet. I only wore it once for the Santino's Halloween show. I accidentally backed into barbed wire and bled all over my cute, little,
"Loosey" costume. The blood didn't wash out but I knew it still had at least one more wear in it! After some discussion, Shelly and I decided to have a photoshoot in our apartment with me in my Lucy Ricardo costume. When the day came, I got my caffeine fix, put on The Squirrel Nut Zippers station on Pandora and vibed with Shelly. I really enjoy when Shelly is my photographer. She understands what I'm trying to portray and when I unintentionally display distracting emotions that are unflattering. I told her that for this shoot I wanted to be Lucille Ball playing- Lucy Ricardo. I want to show a layer of Lucille that is often left unexplored. A strong woman. A completely unique talent. Yet a very real person. With insecurities. Struggles. Lucille was a powerhouse icon and business woman who acted as a housewife. Two very different roles. I wonder how she felt or looked at her character as Lucy Ricardo. She would play this loving housewife when in reality Desi was a disloyal mess. They had a terribly unhealthy marriage in real life. How was it to share scenes with Desi after an argument? Was it blissful to pretend those realities didn't exist? Was she in a TV relationship she truly wished was real? How did she view the housewife role? Or would it empower her? Would she walk away from set thinking "I'm glad that's not my real life"? I've been reading books, articles, and watching documentaries about Lucille Ball. She is intriguing and real. Those qualities are probably the core of why audiences now still literally love Lucy... All the talent on top sure didn't hurt either! ;)

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